i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
