he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize