that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
