Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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