dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
