Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
false alarm. still invincible.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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