im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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