is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
