Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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