There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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