Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
