Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
