Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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