He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so let's talk penis.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
