dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
high people should be assigned attendants
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
