Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
