yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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