I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
