He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
