The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
