All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
