hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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