At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
a search helicopter?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
