I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
