Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
