my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
