Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
