She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
