Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
