the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Randomize
