Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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