I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
