lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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