Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
