Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
