we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
