wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize