i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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