we're chasing vodka with high fives
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
