Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
