Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
