id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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