ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize