My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize