it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
