Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
