apparently the secret to your success is patron
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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