well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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