You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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