One girl and one boy is just not enough.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
