I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
