Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
