Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
