Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
