I got chris browned last night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
