remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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