eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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