I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
