i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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