Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
