Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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