The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize