if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
